A Love Letter to Cornelius
Oh, Cornelius.  You were my first musical love.   After listening to your second album "Point", I bought your first album "Fanstasma" without even listening to it first!  That's how confident I was in my love for you.  But, oh how you've let me down with your lastest.  I've waited for five long years for a new release by you and what have you brought me?  Sensuous.  Oh, how you've let me down.  Oh, how.  Let me try to count the ways:

First, Sensuous(your latest musical effort), is far too much like Point.  Yes, I did enjoy your minimal approach to song writing on Point, using only a few sentances as the lyrics for your songs.  Such as singing the words "point of view" for an entire song, which is then punctuated by the mathematically placed plucks of your guitar.  It was brilliant then, but even the most brilliant light can become dull if one stares at it too long.  Then you become blind and that just makes me all cranky.

Second...well, okay.  Maybe that's it.  Perhaps your musical ideas just haven't evolved with my musical tastes.  That must be it.  You chose to go all sensitive on me just when I began to think that metal was cool again.   There we go.  That's the problem right there.  You're just not metal enough.  Jeez, Cornelius.  Why can't you be Electro Quarterstaff covering Megaman?  That's fucking awesome right there.

Oh, Cornelius.  I'm sorry.  It's not you, it's me.  I just don't know what I want in terms of music right now.  I still want to be friends.  To be honest, I'm listening to your new album right now and I kinda enjoy the songs Gum and Music.  But I'm drunk so that might be a phase.  If being drunk is a phase.